Voir Dire

Mary’s following up on the bomb that got dropped this last weekend. Kelsey has decided to go live with her father beginning next fall. The main thought here is that moving out into the suburbs of Woodinville will enable her to join a regular schooling system. (Her life was radically altered at the beginning of this last school year when her former school went out of business. She’s been trying to adjust ever since.)
I missed my bus on the way in to jury duty today. (Ever just know that that bus driver is intentionally leaving you behind?) In the long run, it really didn’t make any difference that I was late. It’s my pleasure to report that any advancements in the expedition of court proceedings are incomprehensible to the untrained perception.
OK, something rather unexpected and profound happened today, and I was not at all prepared for it. If you sense that I’m wandering a lot in this entry, understand that I’m a bit under water on this one…
Arguably, the most popular distinction of the Christian Scientist is his or her reliance in God in matters concerning health where medical parishioners are so commonly employed. Christian Science clearly recognizes God as the only cause and creator, and thus approaches all illness from a spiritual foundation, rather than from any material basis.
Growing up as a Christian Scientist emphasized the sharp contrasts between the influences in my upbringing versus those in my peer’s. One such distinction was my consistent pardon from any and all medical academics. I was routinely supplied with those parent notarized, salmon-colored waivers cards which assured my pardon from biology and health classes. Although accommodations for these exemptions were always graciously provided, it was rarely convenient or graceful.
So, why am I bringing that up? Well, as I stated earlier, the oddest thing happened today during jury duty, and I’m still trying to get a handle on it. I was sitting in the juror’s box trying to listen to the prosecuting attorney’s voir dire questions, when I realized that I hadn’t heard anything he’d said for the last few minutes. It was like the volume knob for my internal dialog got turned up to 10, drowning him out.
Ironically enough, in the taped orientation for jury duty, Raymond Burr explains that “voir dire” is a phrase which has come to mean “to speak the truth.” During the voir dire process, the judge and attorneys specifically ask if there are any reasons at all that the juror’s cannot impartially follow the instructions of the court and objectively deliver a verdict of guilt or innocence regarding the particular case.
Until that very moment, I had sincerely believed that I could honestly and fairly perform this duty. I had all the appropriate justifications in mind: It is right to be impartial and non-prejudicial; It’s good to look at all the evidence before passing judgment; It’s important to serve our democratic system faithfully and selflessly….
In contrast, the ideas I found echoing in my mind were purely religious, and entirely contradictory to the requirements for jury candidacy: Jesus said, “Judge not, that ye be not judged;” My job is to see the real man as good and loving, and never, ever as a criminal; “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone;” and so on. And they just kept on coming.
Adding to my dilemma was an awareness that the Science and Health defines angels as “God’s thoughts passing to man.” I not only know this to be true, but I also know that it is most important to be obedient to these ideas as they become comprehensible.
As politely as I could, I apologized for the inconvenience, but explained that I needed to be excused from the jury. (No, that’s not a good enough reason.) With all attention trained on me I answered the invasive questions which followed, explaining that as a student of Christian Science, I simply can’t look at a man as a criminal. They soon agreed to released me for “cause,” and sent me back to the holding area. As instructed by the bailiff, I explained to the attendants of the waiting area that I would certainly request to be excused from any other jury duty, if called, but they insisted that I stay on to fill their quota. As other jurors rejoined the waiting area, I found myself feeling exposed, anxious, and self-conscious.
While I know I did the right thing, I was still all too aware of my heartbeats, conscious of my breathing, and I found myself forcing a smile. All personal hypocrisy aside, I am surprised at my behavior, though I’m not really clear why. To those that really know me, it’s plain that I am always pursuing to the spiritual meaning of things. I find myself in this strange situation. I know that I was only reporting the truth, but I still feel,.awkward.